Hi Reader,

Neuroscientists have found that we’re highly attuned to social tension. When something feels unresolved or charged between people, our attention locks in. We want to understand what’s happening and how it’s going to play out.

So if you find yourself drawn to drama, it’s not because you’re immature. It’s because you’re human.

There are two very different kinds of drama I see a lot when it comes to teams:

1. The drama of avoiding drama (that makes teams spiral)

The eye-rolling in the hallway after the meeting. The Slack messages starting with “ok but did you see what [name] said.” The venting that loops for months without changing anything.

You know the meeting after the meeting. Everyone nodded in the room. Then five minutes later, the real conversation happened in someone’s office with the door closed.

It’s the drama of conflict avoidance - avoiding one type of drama by creating another.

And the outcome is bad decisions, eroding trust, a team that’s technically “aligned” but not actually disagreeing out loud. People stay individually comfortable, until they quietly run the whole thing into the ground.

2. Drama that helps teams win​
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​The moment someone finally says the thing everyone was thinking but no one wanted to say. And instead of the room going cold, someone leans in. There’s friction. Real debate. Heat balanced with respect and care for the best outcome.

Teams start making better decisions faster. People put down their fear of being misunderstood, of not being liked, in service of what’s best for the team and the company.

Tips for Creating Healthy Team Drama

• Normalize “I disagree” as a sign of engagement, not dysfunction.
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• Call the meeting-after-the-meeting into the actual meeting: “What are we not saying right now?”
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• Name the tension, not the people: “I’m hearing a pull between speed and quality” instead of “Matt and Sarah don’t agree.”
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• When someone pushes back on you, treat it as trust, not attack.
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• Different roles should be in friction. Finance should push back on Sales. Product should challenge Engineering. If everything sounds smooth, something is being held back.

Teams that can have healthy conflict and walk out aligned can execute! The ones who avoid conflict are stuck in a loop, right up until it shows up on the P&L.

If you want to have the real conversation, not the hallway version, I’d love to connect.