Hi Reader,

I delivered a 360 to a newly promoted C-suite leader who refused to fully own the insane amount of positive feedback they received.

A lot of us are taught to be “humble,” but we mistake being humble for not claiming our strengths. And it backfires. On us and on our team.

Owning your strengths isn’t arrogant. It’s accurate. And it’s the thing that actually makes you humble.

Real humility comes from knowing what you’re good at and being unattached to always being right. When you own your strengths, you stop looking for constant approval. You can teach instead of control. You can be wrong without it feeling like a threat to your self-worth. You can hear other perspectives without being defensive.

Here’s where things go sideways

Your deepest strengths feel natural. When something comes easily to you, you might assume it’s easy for everyone. And that’s when things start to break down.

1. You can’t develop your team. If you don’t see what you do as exceptional, you can’t teach it. You stay the bottleneck and wonder why people don’t get it.

2. You misread gaps as incompetence. When something feels obvious to you, it’s easy to assume people should already know it. So when they don’t, you get reactive or dismissive. Not because they’re idiots, but because you haven’t recognized how rare your instinct actually is.

3. You can’t step into the authority required for a senior role. If you don’t fully acknowledge your strengths, you don’t trust your own instincts. And if you don’t trust your instincts, you hesitate in the moments that require decisiveness. You over-consult, second-guess, and look for reassurance that simply isn’t part of senior leadership.

Maybe you’ve been the young upstart who’s now one of the ones at the top. The identity that helped you rise doesn’t automatically update when the role does. You’re about to do something harder than you’ve ever done before, and you need your confidence now more than ever.

Because when you’re growing or stretching, your doubt gets louder. It wants to protect you and keep you safe.

But refusing to claim your strengths doesn’t keep you safe. It makes you defensive, rigid, and contemptuous.

PSA If you’re worried about sounding arrogant, you’re not at risk of arrogance. Truly arrogant people aren’t thinking about whether they sound arrogant.

The Question What are you exceptional at that you’ve been treating as normal? If you tell me, I’m not going to think you’re bragging.

Resources to Close Out 2025

• ​Join me at The Kinn on Dec 8 to get support in navigating uncertainty and AI in 2026
• ​Steal These Questions for Your Q4 Offsite​
• My self-guided End-of-Year Reflection Worksheet​